Personal Narrative

 

 

"The Power of Becoming You"

    Dark skin, flawed body and ugly smile are the things that makes me insecure since I was young. Before, I couldn't imagine my self to walk in stage in front of many people. I don't have that confident to walk as queen and I have that fear of being judged by someone. 

         Before, I supposed to be so jealous of those women who had a gorgeous smile, white and flawless skin. Sometimes I really wish to be one of them. There was a time that I used to go outside wearing pajarama to hide my flawed and dark legs. I was so young at that time but I already felt this kind of insecurity within me. As the time went by, this situation continued but when Im 13 and I'm on 7th grade, everything has changed. 

         In 2019, my adviser told me that I was going to represent our curriculum which was the grade 7 curriculum in Search For Miss EPB NHS for our school foundation anniversary. At first, I feel so pressured and nervous at that time. I tried to say no, but I've realized that it would be a great start for me to show that I could despite of my flaws. I told myself that I could do it and I would do my very best to get that crown. 

        During practice, the pressure I felt was so real like it was killing me inside. It's my first time. All of my fellow candidates from grade 8 to 12 are so pretty, so effortlessly beautiful. Their legs, body were so perfect to me, how I wished I could be just like them. I was the youngest during that competition, I'm just 12 years old and for me I was also the ugliest candidate that time, just being honest. 

      December 10 was the most awaited day because it was the final show. My whole body is shaking. During preparation, my mind was full of so many what if’s. "What if I didn’t win?” “what if I still look ugly even I have make up?” What if’s that made me lose my hope and confidence . The sound of the crowd make me feel even pressured and nervous.

    As I stepped in stage, hearing those cheers from the audience really made my heart happy. Hearing them cheer for me was the best feeling I had felt that moment. It’s overwhelming. Because of them, I walked with confidence into the stage and forgot those insecurities of mine . That moment,I felt like I was the most beautiful girl in town. 

      Because of the people who believes in me and because of my dedication to fight and become who truly I am, I got my first ever crown I won as Miss EPB NHS 2019. That night became so special because it was also my birthday, best birthday ever.

        The power of becoming who you really are one of the best. It will push you to step out on your comfort zone and to try things you thought you can't. After that night, I learned to embrace my flaws. I realized that insecurities can destroy you. You don’t need to feel worthless or jealous just because you didn't fit society's beauty standards, remember you are beautiful when you learn to appreciate and embrace who you really are.